Home For Christmas

I was sitting out on my balcony when I spotted a Filipino woman with hot pink shoes and an umbrella walking along one of the docks on the marina. Her stride was strong as if she knew where she was going and what she was doing, and she was on a mission.

This woman is a helper from one of the big spacious boats. She is talking on her mobile to family back home and telling them that she is really well and has some happy news. She has a wonderful new employer that takes good care of her, pays her above the normal wage and is giving her time off during Christmas so she can go home and see her family and children. Sheʼs very excited about this, as is the person on the other end of the phone. They both look forward to the time together, especially as she has not been able to get home for the past couple of years.

When she gets off the phone she starts thinking about the extra gifts she can buy for her children now that she has some extra cash coming in. It makes her excited all over again and as a devout Christian, she thanks God for finding her this new job. She continues on her way with a smile on her face and a flutter in her heart.

I wished her a great deal of happiness in the work that she does. I imagined for her a bonus at Christmas so it is an extra special time and a Christmas she will never forget. I wished her a wonderful time with her family and friends. In the meantime, I also imagined her forming supportive friendships, with friends that appreciate her and show her how beautiful she is on the inside and out.

Thumbs-Down Flags: This story highlighted a few things that were worrying me deep down. How can I achieve a Christmas bonus when I work for myself? How can I make Christmas extra special when my family and friends are in Australia and I’m in Hong Kong?

Thumbs-Up Flags: It also made me thankful for some things: I have supportive friends around me. The “beautiful on the inside and out” bit is a great reminder for myself on day when I feel blahhhh, like I have been for the past couple of days. I am happy in my work.

Self-Reflection: I’ve been thinking about taking a trip home – actually umming and ahhing… this might be the way the Universe is telling me to do take the trip home in late October and while I’m there, organise an early Christmas with the family and friends who I miss greatly.

The Upshot

This was fun!!! And SOOOO easy. It spurred me into booking a holiday home. I’m looking forward to spending an “extra special” Christmas with my family.

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Nicole Graham is a certified Soul Coach and Past Life Coach, and the author of the Modern Goddess (Online), a website dedicated to empowering and supporting women, personally and professionally. ModernGoddessOnline.com

Old-School Parenting

So, I’m riding the chair-lift up the mountain over a ski run and I hear a father yelling at his child to “get off your bum now or I’m going.”

I sent love to the father and son, I imagined them enjoying a harmonious and loving relationship and a happy day skiing together. I don’t know what happened but I saw the little boy get up.

I thought about the effect of the father’s words, I felt them, hardly encouraging, quite threatening and scary to a young child who was obviously having trouble staying up on his skis. It reminded me of the effects of midwifing someone using gentle, leading and guiding words versus the old school way of shame, humiliation and bullying.

Answer: Moving from an “old school” style of parenting/coaching (particularly if that’s how you were raised) to midwifing from a loving, aware place is a huge step, but achievable.

Meditation: I practise loving kindness and encouragement in a challenging situation. I give thanks for the harmonious relationships in our family. I respond rather than react and my behaviour transcends the “old school” way I was parented.

The Upshot

My son Jackson, who is doing advanced snowboard training, has two coaches. One of them coaches from the “old school” of bullying and fear, and the other from a supportive and nurturing space.

We’d been helping Jackson with the side-effects of the “old school” coach for the last few days – anxiety, deflated self-esteem and fear. Then below me is this scene. It reminded me of how blessed I am to have consciously transcended the “old school” approach to parenting, especially as this is how I was raised. On that lift, I gave thanks for the harmonious relationships in our family.

Later that day, Jackson was particularly and noticeably supportive of my position with another young man in my care. I was gently discouraging him from eating lollies. I gave him details about why it wasn’t a good idea and offered him some alternatives. That Jackson supported me in encouraging his peer to make healthier eating choices validated my resolve to parent from a consciously loving space.

I felt that the effects of parenting/coaching from this loving perspective has the advantage of developing trust between parent/child, coach/student (which I’ve seen between Jackson and the coach that operates like that) and that is a good thing!

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Jane Hardwicke Collings is a wise and spirited independent midwife, and the author of Ten Moons – The Spiritual Journey of Pregnancy, Preparation For Natural Birth. Visit her at Moonsong.com.au